Drum roll please...

19 embies currently cooking and that includes my frozen eggs. Will get another report tomorrow. Will probably put in a combo of mine and the donor's. We don't care either way at this point about the genetics and will just ask our loved ones to respect our privacy and not try to speculate or discuss whether or not our baby (ies) are mine genetically or not. We will likely tell him/her/they someday that there is a possibility that one or more of them is of a different genetic origin, but that's for us to decide if and when appropriate. We are just happy that we are THIIIIIIS close to have our dream become a reality.

A Parting of the Clouds

Today was our ER day. Today was also the day DH had his TESE. The appointment was at 6 am and at 7:30 we were at IHOP and got a call from the dr. that they weren't finding very many sperm. So far, they had only found 1 and it was abnormal. I couldn't believe it. Every time we get close, we just get kicked in the teeth. So he said they would try to find as many as they could and whatever they couldn't fertilize they would just freeze for us to use later.

Fast forward 7:15 pm. They found 31 sperm and were able to ICSI all of the eggs. Still not sure how many eggs they got, but this is definitely good news. Also no word on how my eggs thawed or if they attempted to fertilize them. We will get a fertilization report tomorrow so hopefully I can get all of my questions answered then.

It's Been a While

Sorry I have not updated in a while. A lot has happened since the last time I wrote in here and I have been incredibly busy. I planned and cohosted my BFF's baby shower out of state and planned and hosted my mother's 60th bday party. Anyway, we did choose a clinic. The winner was Fertility Center of Las Vegas. They weren't as easy to work with as Pac NW Fertility, but they were cheaper and much easier to get to for us.

So we started the process and got some donor profiles. The ones they initially sent to us were not that great. We ended up choosing one who was 30 years old with brown hair and blue eyes. What I really liked about her was that she was 5'10". I am 5'9" so height was important to me. The dr. for whatever reason ixnayed that donor so back to square one. They didn't have ANYONE else who was over 5'6"! So I got creative and put an ad on Craig's List. We actually ended up with some decent candidates. One woman was Asian though and I thought to myself, "Did you miss the part where I said I wanted someone caucasion???" People are strange. Anyway, I was about to send two of the girls to apply directly to the clinic and I got an email that they had a perfect donor who was originally chosen by another couple and the couple backed out. She was ready to go and was pretty much my twin except for 11 years my junior. So things happened very quickly after that. I should have known it was too good to be true.

We were one day out from the egg retrieval and I got a call from the doctor. My heart sank when I realized he was calling personally rather than the nurse. He said her body didn't metabolize the HCG correctly and we would be risking the eggs not being mature if we went ahead with the retrieval. Of course, he said this was the first time they had EVER seen this happen. Talk about bad luck...I probably just should never leave the house. Anyway, after discussing with DH, we decided to cancel and start over. If we cancel, we are only out the $1,000 for the meds. If we don't, then we *could* be out the money for the meds, the donor compensation, the cost of the retreival, etc. To say that was a very bad day would be putting it mildly. I hadn't cried that hard since we got our Azoospermia diagnosis. For the next few days I ate myself into oblivion. When I finally got a hold of myself, I went to the store and got chocolate truffles, Belgian Chocolate pudding (If you haven't tried this stuff from Trader Joe's, go get it. Now.), two kinds of ice cream, Halloween candy, a red velvet cupcake and pizza.

The following Wednesday, we had more profiles to choose from. This time, we picked someone who had recently donated before and looks very good on paper. They didn't have anyone appropriate who was truly "proven" but she ended up with 8 blasts so that sounded pretty good to us. Not that DH knows what a blast is, but he trusted my judgement. So we are on CD3 and I'm feeling very optimitic! I am even looking at maternity clothes and thinking about baby furniture. Our transfer is tentatively scheduled for 11/17. Ironically, it's one year and one day since our last transfer. I can't believe it's taken a year to get here. I just have to believe that the egg that ends up being our baby was meant to be our baby and that's why this path has led here. The good news is that the recipient who recently used our donor is pregnant! I have a feeling that on Thanksgiving morning, I will finally get to see two lines on a pee stick... Stay tuned.