To Hell in a Hand Basket

Well, I got the results of my Clomid Challenge Test. What a freaking joke. My FSH has shot up to 18.7 and post Clomid it was 25.4. I have a consult with Dr. Schoolcraft on Thursday but I'm pretty sure he is going to recommend donor eggs at this point. I am starting to be more open minded about it, but if we do go that route, we cannot do it at CCRM. Because of their underhanded and sneaky insurance situation, we cannot afford them for donor eggs. I have been talking to DH about what to do and he thinks we should just try to fertilize our three frozen eggs and if that doesn't work, then decide on plan G. I say "G" because I feel like we've gone through B, C, D etc. already. What I think we should do is find a clinic that will take Blue Cross without any loopholes and do a donor cycle there. At the same time, try to fertilize my frozens. If they fertilize, great. If not, we are not out that money or another several months.

I also brought up the possiblity of trying IUI with donor sperm. As far as I know, I am still ovulating so there is a chance it could work. He is not ready to discuss it. I think he needs to start being more realistic about this. We do not have unlimited funds and we don't have a lot of time. He mentioned last night that if we keep spending spending spending we will never get ahead. I'm sorry to say that I don't give a rat's ass about getting ahead right now. I just want a family. I did tell him though that the financial strain is why I brought up the IUI in the first place. He didn't respond to that.

So at this point, it's looking more and more like I will not be doing another IVF with my eggs. I'm very sad to say goodbye to the possibility of miniature Myrtles running around, but like I said...it's time to be realistic.

Daisy and Marie Callender's

It's been a while since my last post. It's not that I haven't wanted to, but I have been VERY occupied with a new puppy named Daisy. She might be the best thing that's happened to me since this nightmare started. She is a lot of work, but she is sooo cute and sweet and she keeps my mind off of the infertility road. She is like having a great book to read at my current bus stop! I plan to take her with me to Colorado for my next IVF cycle. She will be a great companion and source of support while I am there.

So last night I went to a Resolve Support Group meeting at Marie Callender's. I was really nervous...not knowing what to expect. I have never really (with one exception) talked about this in real life with anyone who really "gets it." I am so glad I went. These were a great group of ladies...all with different reasons as to why they are on this journey. Two of them has been thru 6 IVF attempts with zero insurance coverage and my heart just went out to them. One of them is starting the process of donor eggs and one is gearing up for another IUI. The two IVF vets are also considering CCRM. Even just being able to use fertility lingo without eplaining in layman terms was a breath of fresh air. I didn't have to explain the difference between an embryo and an egg! I will definitely be going again next month. Too bad it's not somewhere a little more hip like CPK...oh well, who doesn't like pie?